Àú´Â 54»ìÀÔ´Ï´Ù. Á¦ µþÀº 25»ìÀε¥ ±âÈ¥¿¡ ¾ÆÀÌ°¡ µÑ ÀÖ¾î¿ä. µþ¾ÖÀÇ ¾Æºü¿Í Àú´Â ÀÌÈ¥ÇÑ Áö °ÅÀÇ 10³âÀÌ µÇ¾ú½À´Ï´Ù. 3³â Àü¿¡ Àú´Â ¾ÆÁÖ ¸ÚÁø ³²ÀÚ¸¦ ¸¸³µ¾î¿ä. ¾à 1 ³â µ¿¾È ¿¬¾Ö¸¦ ÇÑ ÈÄ °áÈ¥À» Çß½À´Ï´Ù. ±×°£ °áÈ¥»ýÈ°Àº »óÄèÇß½À´Ï´Ù. Á¦ ÀλýÀÌ ÁÁ¾Æ¿ä.
I am 54. My daughter is 25 and married with two kids. Her dad and I have been divorced for almost 10 years. Three years ago, I met a wonderful man. After dating for about a year, we were married. It's been heavenly; I love my life.
ÀúÀÇ ¹®Á¦´Â ¹Ù·Î Á¦ µþÀÌ¿¡¿ä. ±× ¾Ö´Â Á¦°¡ ÀçÈ¥Çؼ È°¡ ³ª ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. ±× ¾Ö´Â ÀúÀÇ Àλý¿¡¼ ÀڱⰡ ÃÖ¿ì¼±À̾î¾ß ÇÑ´Ù°í ¸»Çß¾î¿ä. ±× ¾Ö´Â ´õ ÀÌ»ó Àú¸¦ ¾ö¸¶¶ó°í ºÎ¸£Áö ¾Ê°í, ÈçÄ¡ ¾ÊÀº ÀÏÀÌÁö¸¸ Àú¿Í ´ëÈÇÒ ¶§ À̸§À» ºÎ¸¨´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â ´õ ÀÌ»ó ±× ¾Ö¿¡°Ô³ª ¼ÕÁÖ¿¡°Ô Á¢±ÙÀÌ Çã¿ëµÇÁö ¾Ê¾Æ¿ä.
My problem is my daughter. She's angry that I remarried. She told me she should be first in my life. She no longer calls me Mom and now calls me by my first name when she talks to me, which isn't often. I am no longer allowed to be around her or my grandchildren.
¸¶À½ÀÌ ¾ÆÇÅ´Ï´Ù. µþ¾Ö´Â Á¦°¡ ³²Æí°ú ÀÚ±âÀڽŠÁß¿¡¼ ¼±ÅÃÇϱ⸦ ±â´ëÇÏ´Â °Í °°½À´Ï´Ù. ¾Öºñ ¼±»ý´Ô, ±× ¾Ö´Â ±âÈ¥ÀÌ°í ÀÚ±âÀÚ½ÅÀÇ °¡Á·ÀÌ ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â ¸·ÆÇ¿¡ ÇູÀ» ¹ß°ßÇϱâ Àü±îÁö´Â ¾ÆÁÖ ¿Ü·Î¿ü½À´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â µþ¾ÖÀÇ »î¿¡¼ ´ÜÀýµÇ°í ½ÍÁö ¾ÊÀ¸¸ç, Á¦ ³²ÆíÀ» ¶°³¯ »ý°¢µµ ¾ø½À´Ï´Ù. ¾î¶»°Ô ÇØ¾ß ÇÒÁö ¸»¾¸ Á» ÇØÁÖ¼¼¿ä. - »ç¿ì½º ij·Ñ¶óÀ̳ª ÁÖ¿¡¼ »ó½ÉÇÑ µ¶ÀÚ
I am heartbroken. I feel like she expects me to choose between my husband and her. Abby, she is married and has her own family. I was very lonely until I finally found happiness. I don't want to be cut out of her life and I have no intention of leaving my husband. Please tell me what to do. - HEARTBROKEN IN SOUTH CAROLINA
[Advice]
»ó½ÉÇÑ µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²: µ¶ÀÚ´Ô ½º½º·ÎÀÇ Á¤¼Àû ¾È³çÀ» À§ÇØ ¾ö¸¶ÀÇ ÀλýÀ» Áö¼ÓÇÑ´Ù´Â ÀÌÀ¯·Î ¾ö¸¶¿¡°Ô °íÅëÀ» ÁÖ°í¾ß ¸»°Ú´Ù´Â, ¹Ì¼º¼÷ÇÏ°í À̱âÀûÀÌ¸ç ºÐ°³ÇÏ´Â µþÀ» µÎ¾ú´Ù´Â °ÍÀ» ¹Þ¾ÆµéÀ̼¼¿ä. º¯È½ÃÅ°±â¸¦ ¿øÇϱâ´Â ÇϽðÚÁö¸¸ µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀº ´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷À» º¯È½Ãų ¼ö ¾ø½À´Ï´Ù. ÇÏÁö¸¸ ¾ÕÀ» ¶È¹Ù·Î º¸°í Àº½Åó¸¦ °ÈÇÔÀ¸·Î½á µ¶ÀÚ´Ô ÀÚ½ÅÀ» º¯È½Ãų ¼ö´Â ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: For your own emotional well-being, accept that you have an immature, selfish, resentful daughter who is determined to punish you for going on with your life. Much as you might wish to, you can't change another person. You can, however, change yourself by looking straight ahead and toughening up your hide.
µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ µû´ÔÀÌ ÀڱⰡ °¡Áø ÀÌÀ¯ ¶§¹®¿¡ ¼ÕÁÖµéÀ» »ç¶ûÇÏ´Â ÇҸӴϸ¦ ±×µé¿¡°Ô¼ ¹ÚÅ»ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ¸·Î ÀÚ±â Àڽĵ鿡°Ô °íÅëÀ» ÁÖ·Á´Â °ÍÀº ¼öÄ¡½º·¯¿î ÀÏÀÌ¿¡¿ä. Á¦ Á¶¾ðÀº ¹Ð°í ³ª°¡½Ã°í, ¸¸ÀÏ ¡®²Ä¦ ¸øÇÏ°Ô ¸·È÷¸é¡¯ ±×¿¡ °üÇØ °øÀÎ Á¤½Å°Ç° »ó´ã»ç¿Í »óÀÇÇ϶ó´Â °ÍÀÔ´Ï´Ù.
That your daughter would punish her children by depriving them of a grandmother who loves them for the reason she has is disgraceful. My advice is to move on, and if you're "stuck," talk about it with a licensed mental health counselor.
[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]
* shut the door on somebody ~À» ÇâÇØ ¹®À» ´Ý´Ù, ~¸¦ °ÅºÎÇÏ¿© µéÀÌÁö ¾Ê´Ù.
e.g.) They shut the door on me. ±×µéÀº ¹®À» ´Ý°í ³ª¸¦ µé¿©º¸³»Áö ¾Ê¾Ò´Ù.
* heavenly (ºñ°Ý½Ä) Á¤¸» »óÄèÇÑ[ÄèÀûÇÑ] (= to be very pleasant and enjoyable)
e.g.) This place is heavenly. ÀÌ°÷Àº Á¤¸» ÄèÀûÇÏ´Ù.
* be determined to do ~Çϱâ·Î °á½ÉÇÏ´Ù
e.g.) I¡¯m determined to be a non-smoker. ²À ´ã¹è¸¦ ²÷°í ¸» °Å¾ß.
* go on with ~À» °è¼ÓÇÏ´Ù, ÁøÇàÇÏ´Ù (= to continue to happen or exist without changing, proceed)
e.g.) Go on with your exercise if you want to hit your stride. º»·¡ÀÇ ÄÁµð¼ÇÀ» µÇãÀ¸·Á¸é °è¼ÓÇؼ ¿îµ¿Çضó.
* much as ~À̱ä ÇÏÁö¸¸ (= although, though)
e.g.) Much as I would like to stay, I really must go home. Á¦°¡ ´õ ÀÖ°í ½Í±ä ÇÏÁö¸¸ Á¤¸» Áý¿¡ °¡¾ß ÇØ¿ä.
* disgraceful ¼öÄ¡½º·¯¿î, ºÎ²ô·¯¿î (= shameful)
e.g.) His behavior was absolutely disgraceful! ±×ÀÇ ÇൿÀº Á¤¸» ¼öÄ¡½º·¯¿ü¾î.