Àú´Â Åð±Ù¿¡ ÀºÅðÇßÁö¸¸ ´©±¸¿¡°Ôµµ ¸»ÇÑ ÀûÀÌ ¾ø½À´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â ¹Ì¸ÁÀבּÝÀ» ¹Þ¾Æ¿ä. ±×·¡¼ ±ÝÀüÀûÀ¸·Î ºÒÆíÇÔÀÌ ¾ø½À´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â »ç»ýÈ°À» ÁÁ¾ÆÇϴµ¥ Á¦°¡ ÀºÅðÇß´Ù´Â °ÍÀ» »ç¶÷µé¿¡°Ô ¸»ÇÏ¸é »óȲÀÌ ´Þ¶óÁú °Í °°¾Æ µÎ·Á¿ö¿ä. ÀúÀÇ ¾Æ¹öÁö²²¼´Â ¾ÏÀ¸·Î Á׾°í °è½Ê´Ï´Ù.
I recently retired, but I haven't told anyone. I receive widow's benefits, so I'm comfortable financially. I like my privacy, and I'm afraid things will change if I tell people about my retirement. My father is dying of cancer.
ÀúÀÇ °¡Àå Ä£ÇÑ Ä£±¸°¡ ¸»Çϱæ Á¦°¡ ±×³àÀÇ ÀڸŶó¸é Àú¿¡°Ô ¸÷½Ã ȸ¦ ³¾ °Å·¡¿ä. Á¦ ÀڸŴ 1¸¶ÀÏ(1.6km) ¶³¾îÁ® »ç´Âµ¥ ÀúÇÑÅ× µé¸£´Â °ÍÀ» Àú´Â ¿øÄ¡ ¾Ê½À´Ï´Ù. ¸¸ÀÏ ±×³à°¡ ¾Ë¸é ÀڱⰡ ÇÏ´Â ¸ðµç ÀÏ¿¡ Àú¸¦ °³ÀÔ½ÃÅ°·Á ÇÒ °Å¿¡¿ä. ÀÌ°ÍÀº ÀúÀÇ ÀλýÀ̶ó°í »ý°¢ÇÏ¸ç ±× ´ëºÎºÐÀ» Àú È¥ÀÚ Áñ±â°í ½Í½À´Ï´Ù. Á¦°¡ À߸øÀΰ¡¿ä? Á¦°¡ ´©±¸¿¡°Ô »óó¸¦ ÁÖ°í ÀÖ³ª¿ä?
My best friend says if I were her sister, she'd be mad at me. My sister lives a mile away and I don't want her dropping in on me. If she knew, she'd include me in everything she does. I feel this is my life and I want to enjoy it alone for the most part. Am I wrong? Am I hurting anyone?
Àú´Â 20 ³â Àü¿¡ ³²ÆíÀ» ÀÒ¾úÀ¸¸ç ±× ÈÄ·Î ÁøÁöÇÑ °ü°è¸¦ °¡Áø ÀÏÀÌ ¾ø½À´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â µ¶¸³ÀûÀÌ°í ¸Å·ÂÀûÀ̸ç, ¸î ±ºµ¥ µ¥ÀÌÆ® »çÀÌÆ®¿¡ °¡ÀÔÇßÁö¸¸ Á¦°¡ ±î´Ù·Î¿ö¼ Àú¸¦ ¸ÅȤ½ÃÅ°´Â ³²ÀÚ¸¦ ¸¸³ª º¸Áö ¸øÇß¾î¿ä. Àú´Â 66»ì·Î °Ç°ÀÌ ÁÁÀ¸¸ç ³ªÀ̺¸´Ù ¾î·Á º¸ÀÔ´Ï´Ù. Á¦°¡ À̱âÀûÀ¸·Î ÇൿÇϳª¿ä? ¼±»ý´ÔÀÇ °í°ßÀ» Áֽðھî¿ä? - ¼ºÎÀÇ ¿ÜÅçÀÌ ¼÷³à
I was widowed 20 years ago and have had no serious relationships since. I'm independent, attractive and have joined a few dating sites, but I'm picky and have not met a man who attracts me. I'm 66, in good health and look younger. Am I being selfish? Do you have any advice for me? - LONER LADY OUT WEST
[Advice]
¿ÜÅçÀÌ ¼÷³àÀ̽Šµ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²: µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ ÀڸŰ¡ µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÌ ÀÏÇÏ´À¶ó ³Ê¹« ¹Ùºü¼ µ½Áö ¸øÇÒ °ÍÀ̶ó°í »ý°¢ÇÏ¿© Á׾´Â ¾Æ¹öÁö¸¦ È¥ÀÚ¼ µ¹º¸´Â Ã¥ÀÓÀ» Á®¿Ô´Ù¸é ±×³à´Â ¸÷½Ã ȸ¦ ³¾ ÀÌÀ¯°¡ ÃæºÐÇÕ´Ï´Ù. ºñ·Ï ±×·± °æ¿ì¿¡ ÇØ´çÇÏÁö´Â ¾ÊÀ»Áö¶óµµ µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²¼ ÀڸŸ¦ ÇÇÇÏ°í °è½Ã´Ù´Â °ÍÀ» ¾Ë°Ô µÉ ¶§ ¦¡ ¾Ë°Ô µÇÁö¿ä ¦¡ ±×³àÀÇ °¨Á¤Àº »óÇÒ °ÍÀÔ´Ï´Ù.
DEAR LONER LADY: If your sister has shouldered the responsibility of caring for your dying father by herself, thinking you are too busy working to help, then she would have every reason to be very angry. Even if that's not the case, her feelings will be hurt when she finds out ¦¡ and she will ¦¡ that you're avoiding her.
ÀڸŲ²¼ µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀ» »ç¶ûÇϽÃÁö ¾Ê´Â´Ù¸é, ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ »î¿¡ µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀ» Æ÷ÇÔ½ÃÅ°°í ½ÍÁö ¾ÊÀ¸½Ç °ÍÀÔ´Ï´Ù. ¸¸ÀÏ ÀڸŴÔÀÇ È°µ¿ÀÌ µ¶ÀÚ´Ô ÃëÇâÀÌ ¾Æ´Ï¶ó¸é, µ¶ÀÚ²²¼´Â ±×³É ±×ºÐÀÇ ÃÊû¿¡ ÀÀÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀ¸½Ã¸é µË´Ï´Ù. ±×¸®°í ºÒ½ÃÀÇ ¹æ¹®°´¿¡°Ô µé¸£´Â ´ë½Å ¹Ì¸® µ¶ÀÚ´Ô°ú °èȹÀ» ¼¼¿ö ´Þ¶ó°í ¿äûÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¹¦¼ö¸¦ ¹ß°ßÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖÀ» °Ì´Ï´Ù.
If she didn't love you, she wouldn't want to include you in her life. All you need to do is say no to her invitation if the activity isn't your cup of tea. And surely, you can find a tactful way to ask any drop-in visitor to make plans with you ahead of time instead of dropping in.
µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀº »îÀÇ ´ëºÎºÐÀ» È¥ÀÚ¼ Áñ±â°í ½Í´Ù°í ¸»¾¸ÇϽÃÁö¸¸ µ¥ÀÌÆ® »çÀÌÆ®¿¡ °¡ÀÔÇϼ̳׿ä. Çö»ý¿¡¼ »ç¶÷µéÀº ¹Þ±â À§ÇØ ÁÖ¾î¾ß ÇÕ´Ï´Ù. µ¶ÀÚ²²¼ °¡ÀÔÇϽŠµ¥ÀÌÆ® »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼ ³²¼ºÀ» ¸¸³ªÁö ¸øÇϽô °Ç µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²¼ º¸¿©Áֽô Åµµ ¶§¹®ÀÏÁöµµ ¸ð¸¨´Ï´Ù. ±×¸®°í ¿¹. µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀº À̱âÀûÀ̶ó°í »ý°¢ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.
You say you want to enjoy your life alone for the most part, but you have joined dating sites. In this life, people have to give in order to get. It may be the attitude you're projecting that's keeping you from meeting men on those dating sites. And yes, I think you are selfish.
[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]
* comfortable (±¸¾î) (±ÝÀüÀûÀ¸·Î) dzÁ·ÇÑ, ³Ë³ËÇÑ, ºÒÆíÇÔ(ºÎÁ·ÇÔ)ÀÌ ¾ø´Â (= well-off, rich)
e.g.) They're not millionaires, but they're certainly very comfortable.
±×µéÀÌ ¹é¸¸ÀåÀÚ´Â ¾Æ´ÏÁö¸¸ ºÐ¸íÈ÷ ¾ÆÁÖ Ç³Á·Çϱâ´Â ÇÏ´Ù.
* be mad at (somebody) ~¿¡°Ô ¸÷½Ã ȸ¦ ³»´Ù (= to get angry)
e.g.) Why are you mad at me? ³ªÇÑÅ× È³»´Â ÀÌÀ¯°¡ ¹¹¿¹¿ä?
* drop in on (somebody) ~¿¡°Ô Àá±ñ µé¸£´Ù
(= to pay a short, informal visit to somebody, often without arranging this in advance)
e.g.) Please drop in on me when you happen to come in these parts. ÀÌ °÷¿¡ ¿À½Ã°Åµç ²À Àú¿¡°Ô µé·¯ÁֽʽÿÀ.
* widowed ¹Ì¸ÁÀÎ[Ȧ¾Æºñ]ÀÌ µÈ
e.g.) My mother was widowed at the age of 30. ¾î¸Ó´Ï²²¼´Â ¼¸¥¿¡ °úºÎ°¡ µÇ¼Ì´Ù.
e.g.) I'm widowed. Àú´Â °úºÎÀÔ´Ï´Ù.
* picky (ºñ°Ý½Ä) »ç¶÷ÀÌ ±î´Ù·Î¿î, º°½º·¯¿î
(= sbwho is picky is difficult to please because they only like particular things, or only like things to happen in a particular way)
e.g.) Phil's not picky about his appearance. ÇÊÀº ¿Ü¸ð¿¡ ±î´Ù·Ó°Ô ±¼Áö ¾Ê´Â´Ù.
* loner ÁַΠȥÀÚ Áö³»´Â »ç¶÷, È¥ÀÚ Àֱ⸦ ´õ ÁÁ¾ÆÇÏ´Â »ç¶÷
(= someone who prefers to be alone rather than with a group of people)
e.g.) I'm very much a loner. I never go out. ³ª´Â »ó´çÈ÷ ¿ÜÅçÀ̾ß. ÀüÇô ¹Û¿¡ ³ª°¡Áö ¾Ê°Åµç.
* isn't one's cup of tea ~ÀÇ ÃëÇâÀÌ ¾Æ´Ï´Ù
This really isn't your cup of tea, is it? ÀÌ°Ç ÁøÂ¥ ³× ÃëÇâÀÌ ¾Æ³Ä, ±×·¸Áö ¾Ê¾Æ?
* ahead of time (¿¹Á¤µÈ) ½Ã°£ Àü¿¡, ÀÇ¿Ü·Î »¡¸®
e.g.) I was surprised that he was there ahead of time. ³ª´Â ±×°¡ ½Ã°£ Àü¿¡ ±×°÷¿¡ ¿Í ÀÖ¾î¼ ³î·¨´Ù.
* all you need to do ´ç½ÅÀÌ ÇØ¾ß ÇÏ´Â ¸ðµç °Í
e.g.) All you need to do is come to the main office. ±×³É º»»ç·Î ¿À½Ã±â¸¸ ÇÏ¸é µË´Ï´Ù.
* project (yourself) (ƯÈ÷ ÁÁÀº ÀλóÀ» ÁÖµµ·Ï) º¸¿© ÁÖ´Ù[³ªÅ¸³»´Ù]
e.g.) She projects an air of calm self-confidence. ±×³à´Â Â÷ºÐÇÏ°í Àڽۨ Àִ ŵµ¸¦ º¸ÀδÙ.