Çѱ¹¾î·Î µÈ ¹®Á¦¸¦ º¸¸é¼, ¿µ¾î·Î´Â ¾î¶»°Ô Ç¥ÇöÀÌ µÇ´ÂÁö¸¦ »ý°¢ÇØ º¸¼¼¿ä.
¿ø¾î¹ÎÀÇ Ç¥Çö°ú, Çѱ¹ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÈçÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇÒ ¼ö Àִ ǥÇöÀÇ Â÷À̸¦ º¸¸é¼
»ì¾Æ Àִ ǥÇö, ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ÀÇ»ç Àü´ÞÀÇ ±â¼úÀ» ¹è¿ì½Ã±æ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù.
[Problem]
Àú´Â 29¼¼ÀÇ ¿©¼ºÀ¸·Î ¾àÈ¥ÀÚ ¡®Gary¡¯¿Í 3³â°£ »ç±Í°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. ÀúÈñ´Â 6 °³¿ù Àü¿¡ ¾àÈ¥ÇÑ »çÀÌ°¡ µÇ¾ú¾î¿ä.
I'm a 29-year-old woman and I have been with my fiance, "Gary," for three years. We became engaged six months ago.
Á¦°¡ ÃÖ±Ù¿¡ °áÈ¥ ¾ê±â¸¦ ²¨³ÂÀ» ¶§, °Ô¸®´Â ¡°ÀÏÀÌ Àß Ç®¸®±â Àü¿¡´Â °áÈ¥ÇÑ´Ù´Â °ÍÀº »ý°¢Á¶Â÷ ÇÒ ¼ö ¾ø´Ù¡±°í ÀÀ¼öÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ̾ú½À´Ï´Ù. À̾îÁø ´ëÈ¿¡¼ °Ô¸®´Â Áý¼ö¸®¿Í Á¦ °³ÀοëÇ° ±¸ÀÔ¿¡ º¸ÅÆÀ» ÁÙ ¼ö ÀÖÀ¸¸ç, Åë±Ù°Å¸®°¡ ´õ °¡±õ°í, µ·¹úÀÌ°¡ ´õ ³ªÀº ÀÏÀÚ¸®¸¦ ±¸ÇÒ ÇÊ¿ä°¡ ÀÖ´Ù°í Çß¾î¿ä.
When I brought up wedding ideas recently, Gary responded with, "There are things that have to be resolved before I can even think about getting married." In the discussion that followed, he said I need to get a better-paying job so I can contribute to the renovations on the house, buy my own personal items and have a shorter commute.
¸¶À½ÀÌ ¾ÆÆÄ¿ä. °áÈ¥À̶õ »ç¶ûÇÏ´Â »ç¶÷¿¡°Ô Àü³äÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ̶ó ¹Ï±â ¶§¹®ÀÌÁÒ. ¶ÇÇÑ »ç¶û¸¸À¸·Î´Â »ì ¼ö ¾ø´Ù´Â °Íµµ ±ú´Ý½À´Ï´Ù. Á¦°¡ ÀÌ ÀÏ¿¡ Áö³ªÄ¡°Ô ¿¹¹ÎÇÑ °Ç°¡¿ä? °Ô¸®ÀÇ ¿äû¿¡ Àϸ®°¡ ÀÖ³ª¿ä? ¾Æ´Ï¸é °Ô¸®°¡ °áÈ¥ÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀ¸·Á´Â ±¸½Ç¸¸À» ã°í ÀÖ´Ù°í »ý°¢ÇϽôÂÁö¿ä? - ´º¿å¿¡¼ »ç¶ûÀÌ ÃÖ¿ì¼±ÀÎ µ¶ÀÚ
I'm hurt because I believe marriage is about committing to the person you love. I also realize you can't live on love alone. Am I overly sensitive about this? Is Gary's request reasonable, or do you think he's just looking for an excuse not to get married? - LOVE ABOVE ALL IN NEW YORK
[Advice]
»ç¶ûÀÌ ÃÖ¿ì¼±À̽Šµ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²: ¾àÈ¥ÀÚ°¡ ÇÑ ¸»¿¡ ÁÖÀǸ¦ ±â¿ïÀ̼¼¿ä. ¿Ö³ÄÇÏ¸é µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ ¹Ì·¡¸¦ ±×°¡ ÀϹæÀûÀ¸·Î ¼³°èÇÑ °Íó·³ º¸À̴ϱî¿ä. Á¦°¡ º¸±â¿¡ ±×°ÍÀº ¿äûÀ̶ó±â º¸´Ù´Â ¿ä±¸ °°¾Æ¿ä. ´«À» Å©°Ô ¶ß½Ã°í ¾àÈ¥ÀÚ¿Í °è¼Ó ´ëȸ¦ ³ª´² º¸¼¼¿ä.
DEAR LOVE ABOVE ALL: Pay attention to what your fiance said because it appears he has unilaterally mapped out your future for you. This sounds less like a request to me than a demand. Open your eyes and keep talking with him.
µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÌ ¼ö¸®ºñ¸¦ º¸ÅÂÁÙ Áý¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ±Ç¸®Áõ¿¡ µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ ¼ºÇÔÀ» µîÀçÇÒ °ÍÀÎÁö¸¦ ¾àÈ¥ÀÚ°¡ ¸í½ÃÇß½À´Ï±î? (±×·¸°Ô Çϼ̱⸦ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù). ¾Æ¿ï·¯ ¿îÀÌ ÁÁ¾Æ Åë±Ù°Å¸®°¡ ª°í º¸¼ö°¡ ´õ ÁÁÀº ÀÏÀÚ¸®¸¦ ±¸ÇϽñ⸦ Èñ¸ÁÇÕ´Ï´Ù. ±×°Ç ¸ðµç »ç¶÷¿¡°Ô °¡´ÉÇÑ ÀÏÀÌ ¾Æ´Ï±â ¶§¹®ÀÌÁö¿ä.
Did he specify whether your name will be on the deed to the house you will contribute to renovating? (I hope so.) I also hope you will be lucky enough to find a higher-paying job with a shorter commute, because not everyone is able to do that.
Àú´Â »ç¶û°ú Çö½Ç¼ºÀ» µÑ ´Ù ½ÅºÀÇϱ⿡, µ¶ÀÚ´Ô°ú ¾àÈ¥ÀÚ°¡ ÀçÁ¤¹®Á¦¿Í °ü·ÃÇÏ¿© ÀÌÇظ¦ °°ÀÌ ÇÏ°í ÀÖ´ÂÁö ¸íÈ®È÷ Çϱâ À§ÇØ °áÈ¥ ¿¹ºñ»ó´ãÀ» ¹Þ´Â °ÍÀÌ Áß¿äÇÏ´Ù°í »ý°¢ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.
Because I believe in both love and practicality, I think it's important you and Gary have premarital counseling together to clarify whether you're on the same page regarding finances.
[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]
* contingent ~ (on/upon something) (°Ý½Ä) (~ÀÇ) ¿©ºÎ¿¡ µû¶ó
e.g.) All payments are contingent upon satisfactory completion dates. ¸ðµç ´ë±Ý ÁöºÒÀº (ÀÛ¾÷) ¿Ï·á ³¯Â¥ ÃæÁ· ¿©ºÎ¿¡ µû¸£°Ô µË´Ï´Ù.
e.g.) His success is contingent on his perseverance. ±×ÀÇ ¼º°øÀº Àγ» ¿©ºÎ¿¡ ´Þ·Á ÀÖ´Ù.
* commit ~ (to somebody/something) (ÇÑ »ç¶÷¿¡°Ô¸¸) Àü³ä[Ãæ½Ç]ÇÏ´Ù; (ÀÏ, È°µ¿ µî¿¡) Àü³ä[Çå½Å]ÇÏ´Ù
e.g.) Why are so many men scared to commit? ¿Ö ±×·¸°Ô ¸¹Àº ³²ÀÚµéÀÌ ÇÑ »ç¶÷[¿©ÀÚ]¿¡°Ô¸¸ Àü³äÇÏ´Â °É µÎ·Á¿öÇÏÁö?
* map out (°èȹÀ») ÀÔ¾ÈÇÏ´Ù, °èȹÇÏ´Ù, ¼³°èÇÏ´Ù(= to plan or design)
e.g.) to map out one's future ~ÀÇ ¹Ì·¡¸¦ ¼³°èÇÏ´Ù
* deed (º¸Åë ÁÖÅÃ, °Ç¹°ÀÇ ¼ÒÀ¯±ÇÀ» Áõ¸íÇÏ´Â) Áõ¼
e.g.) the deeds of the house ±× ÁÖÅà ±Ç¸®Áõ
* believe in ½ÅºÀÇÏ´Ù, ±»°Ô ¹Ï´Ù (= to espouse, to have faith in, to adhere to)
e.g.) Many people believe in [espouse] democracy. ¸¹Àº »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ¹ÎÁÖÁÖÀǸ¦ ½ÅºÀÇÑ´Ù.
* be on the same page (~¿¡ ´ëÇØ) ÀÌÇØÇÏ°í ÀÖ´Â ³»¿ëÀÌ °°´Ù
e.g.) So you and I are on the same page on that. ±×·¡¼ ´ç½Å°ú ³ ±×°Í¿¡ ´ëÇØ ¶È°°ÀÌ ÀÌÇØÇÏ´Â °ÅÁÒ.