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[Debate/Åä·Ð] (HM-033) Wife£§s childhood adoption is secret only to her husband
ÃÖ°í°ü¸®ÀÚ  |  17-02-07 22:24
Çѱ¹¾î·Î µÈ ¹®Á¦¸¦ º¸¸é¼­, ¿µ¾î·Î´Â ¾î¶»°Ô Ç¥ÇöÀÌ µÇ´ÂÁö¸¦ »ý°¢ÇØ º¸¼¼¿ä.
¿ø¾î¹ÎÀÇ Ç¥Çö°ú, Çѱ¹ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÈçÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇÒ ¼ö Àִ ǥÇöÀÇ Â÷À̸¦ º¸¸é¼­
»ì¾Æ Àִ ǥÇö, ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ÀÇ»ç Àü´ÞÀÇ ±â¼úÀ» ¹è¿ì½Ã±æ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù.

[Problem]

Àú´Â 30³â µ¿¾È ÇູÇÑ °áÈ¥ »ýÈ°À» ÇØ¿Ô½À´Ï´Ù. ¿©·¯ ÇØ Àü¿¡ Àú´Â ¾Æ³»°¡ ÀÔ¾çµÇ¾ú´Ù´Â »ç½ÇÀ» ¿ì¿¬È÷ ¾Ë°Ô µÇ¾ú½À´Ï´Ù(¾Æ³»´Â ÇüÁ¦ÀڸŰ¡ ¾ø°í, ºÎ¸ð´Â ±×³à°¡ ´ëÇлýÀÏ ¶§ µ¹¾Æ°¡¼ÌÁö¿ä.). ¾Æ³»°¡ ±× »ç½ÇÀ» ¸ð¸£°í ÀÖÀ»Áöµµ ¸ð¸¥´Ù´Â °ÍÀÌ ¿°·Á°¡ µÇ¾î, Àú´Â ±× »ç½ÇÀ» È®ÀÎÇÏ·Á°í ¾Æ³» °¡Á· °¡¿îµ¥ ¿¬ÀåÀÚµéÀ» Á¢ÃËÇß½À´Ï´Ù. ±×µéÀº ¸ðµÎ Á¦°¡ µéÀº °ÍÀ» È®ÀÎÇØ Áá°í ¾Æ³»°¡ ±× »ç½ÇÀ» ¾Ë°í ÀÖ´Ù°í ¸»Çß¾î¿ä.   
I have been happily married for 30 years. Many years ago I found out, inadvertently, that my wife is adopted. (My wife has no siblings, and her parents died when she was in college.) Concerned that she might not know about it, I contacted senior members of her family to confirm. They all confirmed what I had heard and said my wife knows about it.

¾Æ³»°¡ ÀÌ »ç½ÇÀ» Àú¿¡°Ô ÀüÇô ¾Ë·ÁÁÖÁö ¾ÊÀº °ÍÀÌ ÀÌ»óÇÏ´Ù´Â »ý°¢ÀÌ µé¾î¿ä. ±×°ÍÀÌ ÀúÈñ µÑ »çÀÌÀÇ °ü°è¸¦ º¯È­½ÃÅ°Áö´Â ¾Ê¾ÒÀ» °ÍÀÌÁö¸¸, ¾Æ³»°¡ Àú¿¡°Ô ÇÑ ¹øµµ ±× À̾߱⸦ ÇÏÁö ¾Ê¾Ò±â ¶§¹®¿¡ ±«·Ó½À´Ï´Ù. Á¦°¡ ¾Æ´Â ¹Ù·Î´Â, ¾Æ³»´Â Á¦°¡ ±× »ç½ÇÀ» ¾Ë°í ÀÖ´Ù´Â °ÍÀ» ¸ð¸£°í ÀÖ¾î¿ä. Àú´Â ¿À´Â °¡À»¿¡ Å« ½ÉÀå ¼ö¼úÀ» ¹ÞÀ» ¿¹Á¤Àε¥, ±× »ç½ÇÀ» ¼ö¼ú Àü¿¡ ¾Æ³»¿Í ÀdzíÇÏ°í ½ÍÀº ÀÏÀÌ¿¡¿ä. ¼±»ý´ÔÀÇ °í°ßÀ» µè°í ½Í½À´Ï´Ù. - ¼Ò¿ÜµÈ ÀÚ 
I think it's odd she never shared this with me. It wouldn't change things between us, but it bothers me that she has never told me. To the best of my knowledge, she has no idea that I know. I am having major heart surgery in the fall, and this is something I would like to discuss with her before I do. I'm curious to hear your thoughts. - LEFT OUT

[Advice]

¼Ò¿ÜµÇ½Å µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²: ¾Æ³» ºÐ²² µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÌ ¾Æ½Ã°Ô µÈ °Í°ú ±×°ÍÀ» ÀüÇô ¾ð±ÞÇÑ ÀûÀÌ ¾ø¾î¼­ ³î¶ú´Ù°í À̾߱âÇϼ¼¿ä. ±×¸®°í ±× ÀÌÀ¯¸¦ ¹°¾î º¸¼¼¿ä. ±×°ÍÀº ¸¶¶¥ÇÑ Áú¹®ÀÔ´Ï´Ù. ±×¸®°í ÀÔ¾çµÈ´Ù´Â »ç½ÇÀº °áÄÚ ºÎ²ô·¯¿öÇÒ ÀÏÀÌ ¾Æ´Õ´Ï´Ù.
DEAR LEFT OUT: Tell your wife what you learned, that you're surprised she never mentioned it, and ask her why. It's a fair question, and being adopted is nothing to be ashamed of.

[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]

* inadvertently ¹«½ÉÄÚ, ¿ì¿¬È÷, ºÎÁÖÀÇ·Î (= without intending to do something) 
e.g.) He stepped on someone's foot inadvertently. ±×´Â ´©±º°¡ÀÇ ¹ßÀ» ¿ì¿¬È÷ ¹â¾Ò´Ù.
 
* siblings ÇüÁ¦ÀڸŠ(= your siblings are your brothers and sisters) 
e.g.) His siblings are mostly in their early twenties. ±×ÀÇ ÇüÁ¦ÀڸŵéÀº ´ëºÎºÐ 20´ë ÃʹÝÀÌ´Ù.
 
* to the best of my knowledge ³»°¡ ¾Æ´Â ¹Ù·Î´Â, ³»°¡ ¾Ë°í ÀÖ´Â ÇÑ(=as far as I know) 
e.g.) He never made a will, to the best of my knowledge. ³»°¡ ¾Æ´Â ÇÑ, ±×´Â À¯¾ðÀåÀ» ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ÀÏÀÌ ¾ø´Ù.