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[Debate/Åä·Ð] (HM-036) Girl comes unglued when on-and-off boyfriend wants more space
ÃÖ°í°ü¸®ÀÚ  |  17-03-27 00:45

Çѱ¹¾î·Î µÈ ¹®Á¦¸¦ º¸¸é¼­, ¿µ¾î·Î´Â ¾î¶»°Ô Ç¥ÇöÀÌ µÇ´ÂÁö¸¦ »ý°¢ÇØ º¸¼¼¿ä.
¿ø¾î¹ÎÀÇ Ç¥Çö°ú, Çѱ¹ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÈçÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇÒ ¼ö Àִ ǥÇöÀÇ Â÷À̸¦ º¸¸é¼­
»ì¾Æ Àִ ǥÇö, ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ÀÇ»ç Àü´ÞÀÇ ±â¼úÀ» ¹è¿ì½Ã±æ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù. 

[Problem]

Àú´Â °Ü¿ì 18¼¼¶ø´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â Àλý¿¡¼­ ¹è¿ï °Ô ¸¹´Ù°í »ý°¢Çϴµ¥, µµ¿òÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇØ¿ä. Àú´Â ÀúÈñ µÎ »ç¶÷ÀÇ °ü°è¿¡¼­ ¡®¾ç±Ø´ÜÀû¡¯ÀÎ ÇÑ ³²ÀÚ¿Í ¹ÌÄ¥µíÇÑ »ç¶û¿¡ ºüÁ® ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. ±×°¡ ÇÏ·ç´Â Àú¸¦ »ç¶ûÇÏ°í ±× ´ÙÀ½ ³¯¿¡´Â ±×·¸Áö ¾Ê¾Æ¿ä.
I'm only 18. I know I have a lot to learn in life, but I need help. I'm madly in love with a guy who is "bipolar" about our relationship. One day he loves me and the next he doesn't.

¿À´ÃÀº ±×°¡ ¸»Çß¾î¿ä. ¿ì¸®´Â ´Ã ¾ðÁ¦³ª ÇÔ²² Áö³Â±â ¶§¹®¿¡ ¾ó¸¶°£ Àڱ⸸ÀÇ ½Ã°£ÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇÏ´Ù°í ¸»ÀÔ´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â ¿ÂÅë È­°¡ ³ª°í ¹ÌÄ¡±â ½ÃÀÛÇß¾î¿ä. ±×°¡ Àú¿Í Çì¾îÁöÁö´Â ¾ÊÀ» °Ì´Ï´Ù. ±×°¡ ÀÚÀ¯°¡ ÇÊ¿äÇÏ´Ù°í »ý°¢ÇÏÁö¸¸, Àú´Â ±×·¸°Ô Çϵµ·Ï ³»¹ö·Á µÑ ¼ö ¾ø¾î¿ä. ±×¸¦ ÀÒ°í ½ÍÁö ¾Ê½À´Ï´Ù. ±×¿Í ÇÔ²²ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¹æ¹ýÀ» »ý°¢Çس¾ ¼ö ÀÖµµ·Ï µµ¿ÍÁֽʽÿÀ. - ¹ÌÁÖ¸® ÁÖ¿¡¼­ ±¦ÂúÀº »ç¶÷À» ¸¸³­ µ¶ÀÚ 
Today he said he needed some time alone because we've been together 24/7. I got all mad and started to go crazy. He's not breaking up with me. I know he needs space, but I can't bring myself to let him have it. I don't want to lose him. Please help me figure out a way to stay with him. - GOT A GOOD ONE IN MISSOURI

[Advice]

±¦ÂúÀº »ç¶÷À» ¸¸³ª½Å µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²: µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ ³²ÀÚ Ä£±¸¸¦ ÁöÅ°°í ½Í´Ù¸é, ±×¿¡°Ô ÀÚÀ¯¸¦ Çã¶ôÇϼ¼¿ä. Àú´Â ÀÌ°ÍÀÌ ¸ð¼øó·³ µé¸°´Ù°í »ý°¢ÇÏÁö¸¸, µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÌ ±×¿¡°Ô ¸Å´Þ¸®¸é ¸Å´Þ¸±¼ö·Ï ±×´Â ´õ´õ¿í µµ¸ÁÄ¡°í ½Í¾îÇÒ °ÍÀÔ´Ï´Ù. 
DEAR GOT A GOOD ONE: If you want to keep your boyfriend, let him have his freedom. I know it sounds contradictory, but the harder you try to hang onto him, the more he will want to get away.

±×·±µ¥, ³²ÀÚ Ä£±¸°¡ Àڱ⸸ÀÇ ¡®ÀÚÀ¯¡¯¸¦ Áñ±â°í ÀÖ´Â µ¿¾È µ¶ÀÚ´Ôµµ ±×°¡ ÇÏ´Â °Í°ú ¶È°°ÀÌ ÇÏ¼Å¾ß ÇÕ´Ï´Ù. ¸¸ÀÏ µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²¼­ ÀÚ½ÅÀ» °í¸³½ÃÅ°½Å´Ù¸é, ¿ì¿ïÇØÁö°í, ºÒ¾ÈÇØÁö¸ç ÁýÂøÇÏ°Ô µÉ °ÍÀε¥, ÀÌ ´Â ¾î´À °Í Çϳªµµ ¸Å·ÂÀûÀΠƯ¼ºÀÌ ¾Æ´Ï¿¡¿ä.  
And by the way, while he's enjoying his "space," you should do exactly the same thing he is doing. If you isolate yourself, you will only become depressed, insecure and clingy, none of which are attractive traits.

[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]

* unglued [¹Ì¡¤¼Ó¾î] °Ý³ëÇÑ, À̼ºÀ» ÀÒÀº; [¹Ì¡¤¼Ó¾î] ¹ÌÄ£ (= to become extremely upset or angry about something)
e.g.) If she hears what you're saying, she's going to come unglued. ¸¸¾à ±×³à°¡ ³×°¡ ÇÏ°í ÀÖ´Â ¸»À» µéÀ¸¸é, Å©°Ô È­³¾ °Å¾ß. 
 
* bipolar ¾ç ±Ø´Ü ¶Ç´Â ºÐ¸íÈ÷ »óÀÌÇÑ µÎ °¡Áö »ý°¢À» °®°í ÀÖ´Â (= consisting of two opposite or clearly different ideas); Á¶¿ïÁõÀÇ(manic depression)   
e.g.) The bipolar world of 1980's, where two opposing countries held all the power, disappeared very quickly. µÎ Àû´ë±¹ÀÌ ¸ðµç ±Ç·ÂÀ» º¸À¯ÇÏ°í ÀÖ´Â 1980³â´ëÀÇ 2±Ø üÁ¦´Â ¸Å¿ì ±Þ¼ÓÈ÷ »ç¶óÁ³´Ù. 
 
* 24/7 ¿¬Áß¹«ÈÞ, ´Ã, Ç×»ó 'ÇÏ·ç 24½Ã°£ 1ÁÖÀÏ¿¡ 7ÀÏ ³»³»' ÀÇ ÁÙÀÓ ¸» (= 24 hours a day, 7 days a week continuously)
e.g.) I think about her 24/7. ³­ ¸ÅÀÏ, ¾ðÁ¦³ª ±×³à¸¦ »ç¶ûÇØ.
Get real. She doesn't love you. Á¤½Å Á» Â÷·Á, ±×³à´Â ³Î »ç¶ûÇÏÁö ¾Ê¾Æ. 
 
* get mad È­¸¦ ³»´Ù (= to get angry)
e.g.) He just got mad for no reasons. ±×´Â ±î´ß ¾øÀÌ È­¸¦ ³Â´Ù.
 
* go crazy ¹ÌÄ¡´Ù (= to do something too much, in a way that is not usual or sensible, especially because you are excited)
e.g.) I think I will go crazy doing this.ÀÌ·¯´Ù ³»°¡ ¹ÌÃÄ ¹ö¸± °Í °°´Ù.
 
* not bring yourself to do something ~À» ½º½º·Î ÇÒ ¼ö ¾ø´Ù (= if you cannot bring yourself to do something, you cannot make yourself do it) 
e.g.) I couldn't bring myself to apologize to John. ³ª´Â Á¸¿¡°Ô »ç°úÇÒ ¼ö ¾ø¾ú´Ù.
 
* contradictory ¸ð¼øµÇ´Â (= If two or more facts, ideas, or statements are contradictory, they state or imply that opposite things are true.) 
e.g.) We are faced with two apparently contradictory statements. ¿ì¸®´Â ºÐ¸íÈ÷ ¸ð¼øµÇ´Â µÎ °¡Áö Áø¼úÀ» ´ëÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
 
* clingy Á¡Âø¼ºÀÇ, µé·¯ºÙ¾î¼­ ¶³¾îÁöÁö ¾Ê´Â, ÁýÂø¼ºÀÇ (= to become very attached to people and depend on them too much) 
e.g.) She is really clingy with him. ±×³à´Â Á¤¸» ±×¿¡°Ô ÁýÂøÇØ.