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[Debate/Åä·Ð] (HM-055) Boyfriend£§s mom£§s disapproval looms over couple£§s future
ÃÖ°í°ü¸®ÀÚ  |  19-01-28 23:36
Çѱ¹¾î·Î µÈ ¹®Á¦¸¦ º¸¸é¼­, ¿µ¾î·Î´Â ¾î¶»°Ô Ç¥ÇöÀÌ µÇ´ÂÁö¸¦ »ý°¢ÇØ º¸¼¼¿ä.
¿ø¾î¹ÎÀÇ Ç¥Çö°ú, Çѱ¹ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÈçÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇÒ ¼ö Àִ ǥÇöÀÇ Â÷À̸¦ º¸¸é¼­
»ì¾Æ Àִ ǥÇö, ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ÀÇ»ç Àü´ÞÀÇ ±â¼úÀ» ¹è¿ì½Ã±æ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù.

[Problem]

Á¦ ³²ÀÚÄ£±¸ ¡®Æú¡¯°ú Àú´Â 5 ³â µ¿¾È ÇÔ²² Áö³»¿Ô½À´Ï´Ù. ÀúÈñ´Â °áÈ¥ÇÏ°í ½ÍÁö¸¸, ³²ÀÚÄ£±¸ÀÇ ¾î¸Ó´Ï°¡ °¡Å縯 ½ÅÀÚÀ̽ŵ¥ Á¦°¡ ¾Ë·¡½ºÄ« ¿øÁÖ¹ÎÀ¸·Î¼­ ´ç½ÅÀÇ °üÁ¡¿¡¼­´Â À̱³µµ°¡ µÇ±â ¶§¹®¿¡ ½Â³«À» ÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀ¸½Ê´Ï´Ù. 
My boyfriend, "Paul," and I have been together for five years. We want to get married, but his mother is Catholic and she doesn't approve because I am an Alaskan native, which from her perspective makes me a pagan.

ÆúÀº ¿©·¯ ÇØ µ¿¾È ±³È¸¿¡ Ãâ¼®Çϰųª °¡Å縯ÀûÀÎ °ßÇظ¦ °®Áö ¾Ê¾ÒÁö¸¸, ¾î¸Ó´Ï¸¦ Ãæ°Ý¿¡ ºü¶ß¸± °ÍÀÌ µÎ·Æ±â ¶§¹®¿¡ ¾î¸Ó´Ï²² °áÈ¥À» ½Â³«ÇØ´Þ¶ó´Â ¸»À» ÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀ» °ÍÀÔ´Ï´Ù. ÆúÀÇ ¾î¸Ó´Ï´Â ÀúÈñ°¡ ÁË¾Ç °¡¿îµ¥ »ì°í ÀÖÀ¸¸ç, ÀúÈñÀÇ °áÈ¥Àº ÆúÀÌ ±³È¸·ÎºÎÅÍ ÆĹ®À» ´çÇÏ´Â ¿øÀÎÀÌ µÉ ¼ö ÀÖ°í, Àڳฦ ³º´Â´Ù¸é ±×µéÀº Áö¿Á¿¡ °¥ ¼ö¹Û¿¡ ¾ø´Â ¿î¸íÀÇ »ç»ý¾Æ°¡ µÉ °ÍÀ̶ó°í Àú¿¡°Ô ¸»Çß½À´Ï´Ù.    
Paul hasn't attended church or held any Catholic views for many years, but he won't tell his mother because he's afraid it would devastate her. She has told me we are living in sin, that our marriage could cause him to be excommunicated, and if we have children, they'll be bastards who will go to hell.

Àú´Â ¸¶À½ÀÌ »óÇÏ°í ÀÌ ¸»ÀÌ È¥¶õ½º·¯¿ì¸ç ÀÌ¿¡ ´ëÇØ ¹«¾ùÀ» Çϰųª ¹«½¼ ¸»À» ÇØ¾ß ÇÒÁö ¸ð¸£°Ú½À´Ï´Ù. Á¦°¡ ±×³à¿Í À̾߱âÇÏ·Á°í ÇÒ ¶§¸¶´Ù ±×³à´Â Á¦°¡ ¿øÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â °³Á¾À» Çϵµ·Ï ¼³µæÇÏ·Á°í ¾Ö¾¹´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â ±×³à¿Í °ü°è¸¦ À¯ÁöÇÏ°í ½ÍÁö¸¸, Àú³ª ¾ÕÀ¸·Î ž Àڳฦ ÀÎÁ¤¹Þ±â À§ÇØ ÇöÀçÀÇ Àú¸¦ ¹Ù²Ù¾î¾ß¸¸ ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀº ¿øÄ¡ ¾Ê¾Æ¿ä. ÀúÀÇ »óȲÀ» ÇìÃÄ ³ª°¡´Â µ¥ µµ¿òÀÌ µÉ Á¶¾ðÀ» ÇØÁֽðڽÀ´Ï±î? - ¾Ù¶ó½ºÄ« ÁÖ¿¡¼­ Áö¿Á¿¡ °¥ ¿î¸íÀÇ µ¶ÀÚ 
I am hurt and confused over this and don't know what to do or say about it. Every time I try to talk to her, she tries to persuade me to convert, which I don't want to do. I'd like to have a relationship with her, but I don't want to have to change who I am for her to approve of me or my future children. What advice can you give me to help me get through my situation? - DOOMED TO HELL IN ALASKA

[Advice]

¡®ÇÇÇÒ ¼ö ¾ø´Â ¿î¸í¡¯ÀÇ µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²: ³²ÀÚÄ£±¸°¡ °áÈ¥À» ¿øÇÑ´Ù°í È®½ÅÇϼ¼¿ä? µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ ¹®Á¦´Â ±×ÀÇ ¾î¸Ó´ÔÀÌ ¾Æ´Ï¿¡¿ä, ±×°Ç ÆúÀÌ ¾î¸Ó´ÔÀÇ ½Â³«À» ¹Þ´Â °ÍÀÌµç ¾È ¹Þ´Â °ÍÀÌµç µ¶ÀÚ´Ô°ú °áÈ¥ÇÒ °èȹÀ» ¾î¸Ó´Ô²² À̾߱âÇÒ ¿ë±â¸¦ ãÀ» ¼ö ¾ø´Ù´Â °ÍÀÔ´Ï´Ù.
DEAR "DOOMED": Are you sure your boyfriend WANTS to be married? Your problem isn't his mother; it's that he can't find the backbone to tell her he plans to marry you with or without her approval.

ÆúÀÇ ¾î¸Ó´ÔÀÇ »ç°í´Â ÄÉÄÉ ¹¬Àº °ÍÀÔ´Ï´Ù. ºñ °¡Å縯 ¾Ù¶ó½ºÄ« ¿øÁÖ¹ÎÀº ¡®À̱³µµ¡¯°¡ ¾Æ´Ï¸ç, ´ë´Ù¼ö´Â ±âµ¶±³ÀÎÀÔ´Ï´Ù. µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ ¹Ì·¡ Àڳడ ¡®Áö¿Á¿¡ °¥ ¿î¸íÀÇ »ç»ý¾Æ¡¯À̶ó´Â °Í¿¡ ´ëÇØ ¸»ÇÏÀÚ¸é, ±×³à´Â °í´ëÀÇ Æí°ßÀ» ¹Ýº¹ÇÏ°í °è½Ã´Â °ÍÀÌ¸ç ±×°ÍÀÌ ÀüºÎ, ±× »ÓÀÔ´Ï´Ù. ºñ ½ÅÀÚ¿Í °áÈ¥ÇÏ´Â »ç¶÷À» ÆĹ®ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀº ´õ ÀÌ»ó °¡Å縯±³È¸ÀÇ ÀÔÀåÀÌ ¾Æ´Õ´Ï´Ù. 
Paul's mother's thinking is outdated. Non-Catholic Alaskan natives are not "pagan"; the majority are Christian. As for your future children being "bastards doomed to hell" ¦¡ she's repeating an ancient prejudice, and that's all it is. It is no longer the position of the Catholic Church to excommunicate people who marry out of the faith.

µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²¼­´Â Á¦ Á¶¾ðÀ» ¿äûÇϼÌÁö¿ä, ¿©±â ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù: ÀÌ ¿©¼ºÀº Á¾±³Àû ÆíÇùÁÖÀÇÀÚ¿¹¿ä. ±×³à´Â Àý´ë·Î µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀ» ÀÎÁ¤Çϰųª °³Á¾½ÃÅ°·Á´Â ³ë·ÂÀ» Áß´ÜÇÏÁö´Â ¾ÊÀ» °Í °°½À´Ï´Ù. ±×¸®°í µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ ¿µÈ¥ÀÌ ±×Àú ½½ÆÛÇϱ⸸ ÇÏ´Â ¿°·ÁÀÇ ´Ü°è´Â Áö³ª°¬¾î¿ä. ±×³à´Â º¯ÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀ» °Ì´Ï´Ù. ±×·¡¼­ µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ ³²ÀÚÄ£±¸°¡ ¾î¸Ó´Ï¿¡°Ô ¡®Ãæ°Ý¡¯À» ÁÖ´Â °ÍÀ» µÎ·Á¿öÇÏ´Â ÇÑ, µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÇ »óȲ ¶ÇÇÑ ¹Ù²îÁö ¾ÊÀ» °ÍÀÔ´Ï´Ù. ÀÌ·¯ÇÑ Á¶°ÇÇÏ¿¡¼­ ±×¿Í °áÈ¥ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀº ½±Áö ¾ÊÀ» °ÍÀÌ¿¡¿ä. ±×·¯´Ï °áÈ¥¿¡ ´ëÇؼ­´Â ½ÅÁßÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇØ ÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
You asked my advice; here it is: The woman is a religious bigot. She's unlikely to ever approve of you or stop trying to convert you, and it has gone beyond the point of concern for your soul to just plain insulting. She isn't going to change, and as long as your boyfriend is afraid of "devastating" her, your situation won't change either. A marriage to him under these conditions won't be easy, so please think twice about it.

[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]

* disapproval ¹Ý°¨, ¸ø¸¶¶¥ÇÔ (= a feeling or opinion that someone is behaving badly or that something is bad)
e.g.) Public disapproval of smoking has increased. Èí¿¬¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ¿©·ÐÀÇ ¹Ý°¨ÀÌ ´Ã¾î³µ´Ù.
 
* loom over (ºÒ±æÇÏ°Ô) ´Ù°¡¿À´Ù, ¶°¿À¸£´Ù (= to appear as a large, unclear shape, especially in a threatening way) 
e.g.) The spectre of a revival of fascism and the policies of race hatred now loom over Europe. 
ÆĽÃÁò ºÎÈ°ÀÇ ¸Á·É°ú ÀÎÁ¾ Áõ¿À Á¤Ã¥ÀÌ À¯·´¿¡¼­ ¶°¿À¸£°í ÀÖ´Ù. 
 
* pagan À̱³µµ, Åä¼Ó ½Å¾ÓÀÎ (= someone who believes in a pagan religion), À̱³µµÀÇ, Åä¼Ó ½Å¾ÓÀÇ 
e.g.) Originally, the place was an old pagan holy site. ¿ø·¡ ±× °÷Àº ¿À·£ À̱³µµÀÇ ½Å¼ºÇÑ Àå¼Ò¿´´Ù.
 
* devastate [ÈçÈ÷ ¼öµ¿Å·Î] (»ç¶÷¿¡°Ô) ¾öû³­ Ãæ°ÝÀ» ÁÖ´Ù; ºñź¿¡ ºü¶ß¸®´Ù 
(= to make someone feel extremely sad or shocked)  
e.g.) Her mother's early death from cancer devastated Lianne. 
¾î¸Ó´ÏÀÇ ¾ÏÀ¸·Î ÀÎÇÑ Á¶±â »ç¸ÁÀº ¸®¾ÈÀ» ºñź¿¡ ºü¶ß·Èµð. 
 
* excommunicate (somebody for something) (ƯÈ÷ °¡Å縯±³¿¡¼­) ÆĹ®[Á¦¸í]ÇÏ´Ù 
(= to punish someone by not allowing them to be a member of the Catholic Church anymore) 
e.g.) When the divorced man remarried, he was excommunicated. ÀçÈ¥À» ÇÏÀÚ ±× ÀÌÈ¥³²Àº ±³È¸¿¡¼­ ÆĹ® ´çÇß´Ù. 
 
* bastard (±¸½Ä) »ç»ý¾Æ, ÈÄ·¹ÀÚ½Ä (= someone who was born to parents who were not married)
 
* doomed to  ~ ÇÒ ¼ö¹Û¿¡ ¾ø´Â ¿î¸íÀΠ
e.g.) The scheme is doomed to failure. ±× °èȹÀº ½ÇÆÐÇÏ°Ô ¸¶·ÃÀÌ´Ù.
 
* backbone ±â°³, ±Ù¼º (= courage and determination)  
e.g.) He doesn't have the backbone to face the truth. ±×´Â Áø½ÇÀ» ¸¶ÁÖÇÒ ±â°³°¡ ¾ø´Ù.
e.g.) Stuart doesn't have the backbone to be a good manager. ½ºÆ©¾îÆ®´Â ÈǸ¢ÇÑ °ü¸®ÀÚ°¡ µÉ ±Ù¼ºÀÌ ¾ø´Ù.
 
* outdated °í·çÇÑ, ³°Àº, ½Ã´ë¿¡ µÚÁø, (´õ ÀÌ»ó ¾µ¸ð°¡ ¾ø°Ô) ±¸½ÄÀΠ
(= old-fashioned and no longer useful or relevant to modern life) 
e.g.) That list of addresses is outdated; many have changed. ±× ÁÖ¼Ò·ÏÀº ÄÉÄɹ¬Àº °Å¾ß. ¸¹ÀÌ ¹Ù²î¾ú¾î. 
 
* tha's all it is ±×°ÍÀ¸·Î ÀüºÎ, ±× »ÓÀÌ´Ù.
e.g.) I hope that's all it is. ±×°Ô ÀüºÎÀÌ±æ ¹Ù·¡¿ä.
 
* marry out of the faith ½Åµµ°¡ ¾Æ´Ñ »ç¶÷°ú °áÈ¥ÇÏ´Ù  
e.g.) Don't you understand what that means, marrying out of the faith? 
ºñ½ÅÀÚ¿Í °áÈ¥ÇÑ´Ù´Â °ÍÀÌ ¹«¾ùÀ» ÀǹÌÇÏ´ÂÁö ¾Ë±â³ª ÇØ?
 
* bigot Æí°ßÀÌ ¾ÆÁÖ ½ÉÇÑ »ç¶÷ 
 
* plain [°í¾î¡¤¹æ¾ð] ÇÑźÇÏ´Ù, ½½ÆÛÇÏ´Ù; Ǫ³äÇÏ´Ù 

* think twice about (something/about doing something) ~¿¡ ´ëÇØ ÀçÂ÷[½ÅÁßÈ÷] »ý°¢ÇÏ´Ù 
(= to think carefully before deciding to do something; hesitate) 
e.g.) You should think twice about employing someone you've never met. 
ÇÑ ¹øµµ ¸¸³­ ÀûÀÌ ¾ø´Â »ç¶÷À» °í¿ëÇÏ´Â °ÍÀº ½ÅÁßÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇØ¾ß ÇÑ´Ù.