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[Debate/Åä·Ð] (HM-068) Recent widow asks more than family can give
ÃÖ°í°ü¸®ÀÚ  |  19-05-21 10:00
Çѱ¹¾î·Î µÈ ¹®Á¦¸¦ º¸¸é¼­, ¿µ¾î·Î´Â ¾î¶»°Ô Ç¥ÇöÀÌ µÇ´ÂÁö¸¦ »ý°¢ÇØ º¸¼¼¿ä.
¿ø¾î¹ÎÀÇ Ç¥Çö°ú, Çѱ¹ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÈçÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇÒ ¼ö Àִ ǥÇöÀÇ Â÷À̸¦ º¸¸é¼­
»ì¾Æ Àִ ǥÇö, ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ÀÇ»ç Àü´ÞÀÇ ±â¼úÀ» ¹è¿ì½Ã±æ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù. 

[Problem]

Á¦ ½Ã¾Æ¹öÁö²²¼­´Â ¸î ´Þ Àü µ¹¾Æ°¡¼Ì°í ±× ÀÌÈÄ·Î Á¦ ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï²²¼­´Â ÀÚ³àµé Áß ÇÑ ¸íÀÌ ÀڽŰú ÇÔ²² ¹ãÀ» º¸³»¾ß ÇÑ´Ù°í ÁÖÀåÇϽʴϴÙ. ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï²²¼­´Â ÀÚ³àµé¿¡°Ô¡®»ç¶÷µé¡¯ÀÌ º»Àο¡°Ô ÃÖ¼Ò 1³âÀº È¥ÀÚ¼­ ¹ãÀ» Áö³»Áö ¸»¾Æ¾ß ÇÑ´Ù°í Çß´Ù°í ÇϽʴϴÙ.
My father-in-law died a couple of months ago, and since then my mother-in-law insists that one of her kids spend the night with her. She told them that "people" have told her she should not spend a night alone for at least a year.

¹Ù·Î ÀÌ°Ô ½½ÇÄ°ú ¾¹¾µÇÔÀ» ºÒ·¯¿À°í Àִµ¥, Á¦ ³²ÆíÀÌ ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï¿Í ù µÎ ÁÖ¸¦ ÇÔ²² º¸³¾ ¶§ ³²ÆíÀº ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï²² Áý¿¡ Àú¸¦ È¥ÀÚ µÎ°í ¿Ô°í ÀÌÁ¦ Çö½ÇÀ» Á÷½ÃÇÏ°í À̵¿ÇÏ½Ç ¶§¶ó°í ¸»¾¸µå·È±â ¶§¹®ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.
This is causing grief and bitterness because my husband has explained to her that when he stayed the first two weeks, he left me at home alone, and it was time she started facing things and move on.

ºÎ¸ð´Ô²²¼­ µ¹¾Æ°¡¼ÌÀ» ¶§ ÀڽĵéÀÇ Àǹ«¶õ ¹«¾ùÀϱî¿ä? ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï²²¼­´Â ÀçÁ¤ÀûÀÎ Áö¿øÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇϽŠ°Ô ¾Æ´Õ´Ï´Ù. ¿ì¸®°¡ ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï²² Èûµé¿¡ ±º °É±î¿ä ¾Æ´Ï¸é ±×³à´Â ½½ÇÄ¿¡¼­ ¹þ¾î³¯ ¸¸ÇÑ µµ¿òÀ» ãÀ» ÇÊ¿ä°¡ ÀÖ´Â °ÍÀϱî¿ä? ¿ì¸®´Â ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï²²¼­ °è¼Ó ÀÌ·¯½Ç ±îºÁ, ±×³à°¡ ÀÏÂï ¸ñ¼ûÀ» ²÷°Å³ª ÀÚ³àµéÀÌ ¶°³ªµµ·Ï ÇÏ½Ç±î ºÁ µÎ·Æ½À´Ï´Ù. - È¥ÀÚ ÀáÀ» ÀÚ´Â µ¥ ÁöÄ£ µ¶ÀÚ
What are the obligations of the children when a parent dies? His mother doesn't need them financially. Are we being too hard on her, or does she need to seek help with moving on? We are afraid that if she keeps this up, she's going to push herself into an early grave or drive her kids away. - TIRED OF SLEEPING ALONE

[Advice]

ÁöÄ£ µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²: ³²ÆíÀ» ÀÒÀ¸½Å °Í¿¡ ´ëÇØ ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï²² ±íÀº ¾Öµµ¸¦ Ç¥ÇÕ´Ï´Ù. ÇÏÁö¸¸ ÀÌ°Ô À强ÇÑ ÀÚ³àµéÀÌ ±×³ª ±×³àÀÇ ¹è¿ìÀÚ¸¦ ¶°³ª 1³â°£ ¾î¸Ó´Ï¿Í ÇÔ²² ÀáÀ» ÀÚ¾ß ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ» ÀǹÌÇÏÁö´Â ¾Ê½À´Ï´Ù. ¾Æ¸¶ 1~2ÁÖ Á¤µµ´Â ±¦ÂúÀ»Áöµµ ¸ð¸£Áö¸¸ ´Ü¾ðÄÁ´ë 1³âÀº ¾Æ´Õ´Ï´Ù.
DEAR TIRED: My deepest sympathy to your mother-in-law for her loss, but it is not the responsibility of an adult child to leave his (or her) spouse to sleep with Mama for a year. A week or two, perhaps -- but certainly not a year.

½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï²²¼­´Â ±×³à°¡ ÀÌ Èûµç ½Ã±â¸¦ ±Øº¹Çϵµ·Ï µ½±â À§ÇÑ ½½ÇÄ ÁöÁö ¸ðÀÓ¿¡ °¡ÀÔÇÏ´Â °Í¿¡ ´ëÇØ ¼ºÁ÷ÀÚ³ª ÀÇ»ç¿Í À̾߱⸦ ³ª´©½Ç ÇÊ¿ä°¡ ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. ±×¸®°í ¸¸¾à ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï²²¼­ Áý¿¡ È¥ÀÚ ³²°ÜÁö´Â °ÍÀ» µÎ·Á¿öÇϽŴٸé, ±×¸®°í ±×³à°¡ µ¿¹°À» »ç¶ûÇÏ½Å´Ù¸é µ¿¹°±¸È£´Üü¿¡¼­ °­¾ÆÁö¸¦ ÇÑ ¸¶¸® ÀÔ¾çÇØ Å°¿ì´Â °Íµµ ¹æ¹ýÀÌ µÉ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
His mother should talk to her clergyperson or doctor about joining a grief support group to help her through this difficult time. And if she's afraid to be alone in the house -- and she's an animal lover -- a solution to that could be for her to adopt a dog from an animal rescue organization.

[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]

* bitterness ¾¹¾µÇÔ, ºñÅëÇÔ (= a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will)

* obligation Àǹ« (= a moral or legal duty to do something)
e.g.) We have a moral obligation to protect the environment. ¿ì¸®´Â ȯ°æÀ» º¸È£ÇØ¾ß ÇÒ µµÀÇÀûÀÎ Àǹ«°¡ ÀÖ´Ù.

* clergyperson ¼ºÁ÷ÀÚ

* rescue ±¸Ãâ, ±¸Á¶, ±¸Á¦ (= when someone or something is rescued from danger)

* drive someone away ~¸¦ ¶°³ª°í ½Í°Ô ¸¸µé´Ù (= to behave in a way that makes someone leave)
e.g.) Her constant nagging drove him away. ±×³àÀÇ ²÷ÀÓ¾ø´Â ÀܼҸ®°¡ ±×¸¦ ¶°³ª°Ô Çß´Ù.
e.g.) Terrorist threats are driving away tourists. Å×·¯¹üµéÀÇ Çù¹Ú¿¡ °ü±¤°´µéÀÌ ¶°³ª°í ÀÖ´Ù.